Changeable, like the weather.

Well, hello once again. Today, Tuesday. The sun shines, it feels warm outside. Yet again the realisation hits me square on the chin... I want to live in a warm country, one that is warmer for longer.. more than three months of a year anyway! People smile more, there is a small and excitable voice at the back of my mind whispering 'party'! I want to invite people over, cook and drink with them (or should I say for them? Not into cannibalism), organise mass gatherings on the beach, go walkies in the woods. I want to be friendly and sociable. And so does everybody else. I drank a bottle of beer with lunch, I don't even like beer, now I want more. If only I lived in Italy, perhaps the ligururian coastline? Good weather has a profound effect on my soul, my attitude, everything really. In the winter months (generally late september until April) the urge to lock my doors and hibernate is huge, the thought of entertaining a phonecall leaves me cold, let alone entertain a dinner party! Christmas is a welcome treat for the children, but the whole 'lets congregate in a family members house and eat and drink til we puke' thing frightens the f**k out of me! How boring and false. And forced. I guess I am a 'fair weather friend'? Well thats absolutely fine by me!

Well hello. Today the 1st of April... it brings many thoughts. I know of a certain un-nameable crinkly faced and less than amiable twisted middle earth troll whose birthday falls on the 1st of April. I am not sure whether the joke was on her, her parents, or mankind. Luckily I have managed to free my life of her, it took a while, and I tried on more than one occasion to flee the perils of her stirring and manipulating, it was as if she had cast a spell of superglue, mixed with fake friendship, deceit, and shit. A wicked web weaved by a headcrunching 'she -spider'! Oh, how I can laugh.. now. Have you ever been thrown into the company of someone you know is less than savoury (by the cruel and lesson teaching hand of fate) and known immediately that you have to flee asap? For reasons truly beyond my control it took years before i managed to shake her off. Anyway, i dont want to give her too much energy, and in all honesty she was a gift, disguised in a rather strange package its true, but a gift nonetheless, I learnt a lot... how to be tougher, and more aware. Also I now realise I dont have to spend time in the company of someone I dont like! So today,I would like to wish her a Happy Birthday!
Isn't spring wonderful, the leaping lambs and bright yellow daffodils. The blossom laden trees in pastel colours, the vibrant and almost eye popping green grass. The smells that fill the air, fresh and alive, the budding flowers and birth of everything. I love spring.

bye for now, a bientot, tout a l'heure...etc etc..

The time is 4.35, and here I sit at the pc deciding what is and what is not interesting about today.. Well to be honest I have accomplished very little today mainly because I have been resting after a rather weird and draining month. 3 weeks ago I was rushed into theatre with an ectopic pregnancy, all very sudden and totally unexpected (considering my birth control is allegedly 99%) so since then and the 'come down' effects of morphine and anaesthetic I have been a physically and mentally drained space cadet! Anyway, last night me and my partner went to a concert, a welcome break from the last few surreal weeks and general life duties and family commitments. We saw FAITHLESS live!! WOW! They were amazing, the energy in the Centre was so high, the music was totally uplifting.. to be honest it felt like a healing process took place..
So, today i rested, tonight i am back at work (a part time job in a small village pub) and i feel like a nervous wreck, the locals are going to ask questions and i havent really prepared myself for this, and to top that i have a new boss that i havent worked with before. I have a feeling i will either start crying like a complete wally at a really inappropriate time, or cock up orders, i am guessing my efforts will look lame and a bit sad, especially with the pressure of 'the boss' looking over my shoulder! It could end up quite hilarious or hysterical. I will now sign off from here, try to mentally armour myself, brush my hair, put on my boots, grab my keys, kiss the kids, squeeze my partner, and head off into the unknown realms and consequences of a night at 'ye olde tiger inne'!